The Magoo Touch

Trying to keep up with the tragedies, mishaps and scandals of the Executive Branch is becoming a challenge. And anyone who doesn't believe that the Universe tends toward irony need only consider NRA poster-boy and tough-guy-wanna-be Dick Cheney, who shot a friend in the face while bird hunting.

Yet another chapter in the disastrous tenure of the Bush Administration, the tragi-comic incident overshadowed the real story, which I predicted here weeks ago--that "Scooter" Libby outed Valerie Plame on orders from the Vice President. No wonder Libby concocted an absurd "I don't remember" story to try to keep the world from seeing the real Cheney.

But Cheney is deluded to think that he can forever keep us from seeing his secret deals with the energy companies, his influence on no-bid contracts, his long-standing effort to invade, control and remake the Middle East, his disdain for public disclosure and his burning desire to place the executive branch above the law. Looking at the track record of this incompetent and misguided ideologue, it's no wonder New York Times columnist Bob Herbert called for Cheney to resign.

Like Watergate was to Nixon, Cheney is a cancer on the Bush Presidency. Not that there aren't a host of other malignancies, including Karl Rove and Jack Abramoff, but Cheney's presence has clearly been doing harm. And with the unfortunate shooting incident, Vice is now a solid and irretrievable liability.

Adding to the tragedy of it all, of course, is the fact that Cheney is so arrogant and convinced of his moral superiority and infallibility that he would never resign. And Bush is too rigid, too blindly loyal and too scared of the criticism an admission of failure would bring to consider replacing Vice with someone whose judgment isn't disastrously poor. Remember cartoon character Mister Magoo? The pair resemble Magoo twins, driving through life unwilling or unable to see the avalanche of wreckage they leave in their wake.

And so it goes. Dick and Dubya bumble down the road in their jittery little car while the rest of us hold our breath, waiting to see what they smash into next.