Bhutto, Bush and Buffoonery

The assassination of Pakistani presidential hopeful Benazir Bhutto was a sad, tragic reminder of how blindly absurd President Bush’s policies have been toward Bhutto's homeland and its liar-in-chief, Pervez Musharraf.

In recent years, along with giving billions of dollars in military aid, Bush has consistently praised and defended President Musharraf. According to Dubya, “[Musharraf has] been an absolute reliable partner.” But as anyone with a brain and a pair of eyes can see, the actions of his regime stand in lethal opposition to his claims.

Despite glowing statements and assertions coming from Musharraf’s mouth, his military has consistently partnered with and protected Afghan Taliban refugees living in Pakistan’s Tribal Areas, radicals who were initially funded and urged on by Pakistan itself. It’s not a stretch to imagine our billions going to buy better arms for those extremists despite Musharraf’s hollow assurances to the West that he stands against terrorism. Sadly, nothing he and his troops have done to stop radicals amounts to anything beyond window dressing. Asking the Pakistani military to wage war against Al Qaeda and the Taliban would be like asking our Army to wage war against the Marines. They are really part of the same outfit. And they continue to breed hatred of women, modernity and plurality with virtually no governmental restraint, effectively creating a new Taliban nation within Pakistan.

Moreover, Musharraf and his military have repeatedly put off fair and free elections, jailing opponents—judges, lawyers, politicians, journalists—and declaring martial law to suit their purposes. Calling him a dictator, and labeling him and his party anti-democracy, would be more than fair and accurate.

But Bush, as stubborn, stupid and incapable of diplomacy as ever, refuses to put any public pressure on Musharraf, much less place conditions on our billions in aid. Bush clings to his beer-buddy instinct, which told him early-on that Musharraf, like Russian Premiere Vladimir Putin, was a “good guy.” Tragically, once Bush decides that you’re a “good guy”, you can break any law, destroy any nation, commit any crime, and remain in Dubya’s good graces without consequence.

May the moderate, democratic spirit of Bhutto live on in Pakistan.

And may the blind stupidity, arrogance, incompetence, hypocrisy, stubbornness and dishonesty of the Bush Administration cease to further damage our nation and world before it crawls out of office in disgrace a little more than a year from now.

- JT Compton
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The Gore Reminder

Al Gore was interviewed on a CNN Global Warming special today, and yet again, it proved to be a heartbreaking reminder of how different our nation and place in the world would be if George Bush had not been given the Presidency by the Supreme Court.

Critics love to mock Gore because he’s not a blustering redneck-wannabe like Bush, because he doesn’t strut and smirk and pretend to be a working-class good-ol’ boy. They make fun of his intellect and deride his claim—which proves to be accurate—that he had a hand in starting the Internet, painting him as an annoying know-it-all. But recent history has demonstrated that a know-nothing President like Bush can do immense and lasting damage to our treasury, reputation, environment and democracy.

How utterly sad that instead of the dignified, articulate Gore—as wise, learned and measured a politician as I have seen in my lifetime—we have a ridiculous, obtuse, rude, ignorant, narrow-minded, angry and defiant loser in George Bush.

Bush has done virtually nothing constructive as President—increased AIDS funding to Africa (with strings attached to curtail use of condoms!)—and has done a thousand things to weaken and degrade a broad array of institutions and communities here and abroad. Watching Bush is like watching a sick joke, a phony cowboy with a phony accent trying desperately to distance himself from his blue-blooded, patrician, wimpy Yale-cheerleader past.

A Gore Presidency would have completely avoided the historic mess in Iraq, would have likely got the job done in Afghanistan, would have jump-started bold and broad initiatives to combat Climate Change, would have done a significantly better job in New Orleans (not the least of which because he would have given the FEMA job to someone capable instead of an inept crony), would never have put two extremist-revisionist judges on the Supreme Court, would never have allowed Big Business to write energy policy and rape the land (like the hideous mountaintop mining that has ruined vast areas of land in the Virginias), would never have encouraged torture or secret prisons or indefinite detention, would never have allowed unlimited spying on citizens, would never have made gaffe after gaffe on the world stage, would never have become an embarrassing international icon of ridicule and hatred.

How sad that cynical, dark-hearted hate mongers, neo-cons and wimps-trying-to-be-tough-guys like Charles Krauthammer (whose pathetic smear of Gore was featured on the same CNN show) would rather have as President a fool like Bush than a sage like Gore. How sad that so many Americans would rather vote for a beer buddy than a scholar. They get what they pay for—a President with wet brain, and policies and staff to match.

- JT Compton
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They Keep Getting Crazier

This has been a weird, angry week in America. And it’s only Wednesday.

After shredding the Oval Office, heard shouting “I’ll waterboard those spooks if it’s the last thing I do,” tossing lamps and framed pictures against the walls, President Bush dragged himself in front of the press and declared, in his own words, (these are mine), “Any nation that wishes to produce or possess a nuclear weapon in the future should be bombed and invaded and retrofitted to protect us. The recent report that Iran does not have a nuclear weapons program is exactly what I’ve been saying all along. They want to have one, which makes them the most dangerous and immoral pack of blood-thirsty terrorists in the history of the world. And by the way, I’m an incurious idiot convinced that the only people dumber than me are you, American Citizens, which gives me license to lie, twist and deceive you as long as it allows my infallible, all-knowing handlers, Dick and Josh, as well as my equity shareholders, the Oil Lobby, the Wealthy Pricks for Tax Fairness, the NRA and the Coalition for Raping our Natural Resources, to do whatever will enrich them and their CEO buddies. After all, we know that CEOs are the most important people around. If you’re not a CEO, then you’re a lazy communist who doesn't deserve to vote, much less live, unless you live to serve the CEO class, carrying their golf clubs, polishing their Bentleys, mowing their lawns, and so forth. Heck, if we prevent CEOs from trading in their ninety-foot yachts and buying the hundred-and-forty-foot models, they might lose face with their international peers, which would be your fault entirely. So I say again, bomb Iran, believe everything I say, and kiss the feet of any God-like CEO you might be lucky enough to meet before you disappear forever into a secret prison.”

Meanwhile, Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee bristled at the question asked by so many reporters, “Do you not believe in evolution?” Standing, looking toward heaven and lifting his arms in a grand, celestial arc, Huckabee replied, “Like any true Christian believer, I know the mind of the bearded man who created the Universe and now sits on a cloud, watching our every move, keeping track of who has been naughty or nice. Ignoring the horrible collision occurring in the Praxis constellation, and despite the murderous rampages of the Janjaweed in Darfur, I know God is very concerned that if we allow certain microscopic Stem Cells to be used to cure disease and decrease suffering, our race will soon be worshipping Satan, dancing naked under the full moon, having sex with multiple partners and taking His glorious name in vain. Further, He is concerned that we, his special children, have allowed our minds to be corrupted by the maggot infested, hunchbacked scientists and polluted by their logic and testing and reason and common sense. God has often whispered into my ear, ‘I made the Earth six-thousand-thirty-six years ago, just for you, my worshipers, to rape and pillage as you please, as long as the only people you kill, molest, enslave or ignore are non-Christians. And just use your eyes—it is flat. Duh.’ This I say unto you.”

You can’t make this stuff up.

- JT Compton
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